There is nothing more hair pulling than sitting around at work reading through an email thread that goes something like this:

Email 1:  Group A needs access to Internal Network A so that they can monitor as part of Service A they provide.  How can we help them?

Email 2 (from me):  We are Group Z… we have nothing to do with Group A, have no control over access to Internal Network A, or Service A.  They should talk to each other.

Email 3:  Yeah, but we should make this work.  So let’s be part of the solution.

Wait, let’s be part of a solution to a problem that we have zero control over, can’t fix without help from two parties who control the relevant equipment and/or services?  Shouldn’t they be talking TO EACH OTHER????  It really makes me want to thrust my head through my monitor and then claim legitimate workers comp claims for the pain and suffering they have caused me.

The right answer of course is:  everyone get in a room and talk it out.  Because this email bullshit dump it on us when we don’t have access or control of any of the stuff that’s needed is absolutely ludicrous, and one of many reasons I’ve grown to dislike my work over the past year or so.  I didn’t even want to be part of this little subteam, it was (as so many things are at jobs) thrust on me with no discussion and no explanation of why other than “well you were on the project that helped devise Service A.”  Which has nothing to do with providing SUPPORT for that service, or the outgrowths of it across the network.  Grrrrr…..

Honestly, I just want to write.  That’s all I really want to do.  I want to be able to make a living writing fiction.  I enjoy it, I find it fun and exciting each time I approach the computer (as long as I can past the damned distraction of the internet).  Frustrations for me have always involved having to wait for something I love and want.  I suppose there are worse frustrations to have in life.  Like being frustrated about waiting for the next season of House of Cards.  Or being frustrated by being the person in line right after the last of the waffle cones was sold during a ninety degree ice cream cone heat rush.  Or the frustration of being unable to properly open a pop can of biscuits.

For example, this morning I had an absolutely fucking amazing morning writing.  The air was cooler and dryer, a nice breeze coming through the windows.  The writing came smoothly, 2300 plus words flowing out of me as I realized I needed another scene here, and a few more words there.  I don’t know if its the material (comic fantasy) that I’m enjoying so much, or writing in general, but I’m in a good place with this.  I’m 23,000 words into the novel and it’s really rolling out for the most part, I love it.  And I’m spending more time editing the first novel I wrote in preparation for a new round of submittals, and that’s moving along well now.

Which is why having to stop, shower, dress and drive an hour to put up with the sort of drivel I mentioned above is frustrating as hell.  I should have started writing YEARS ago, I could have been doing it already.  I never made time for it, let a few rejections push me away from it, and spent my free time doing other things, mostly playing video games.

So that’s my lesson for you, boys and girls.  Follow your dreams while your young so when you reach the ripe old age of 49, you can at least say you gave it your best shot, even if you failed.  I’m not going to fail of course… I’m going to keep writing until I’m dead.  And I know I will be published one day, and I may… question mark MAY… make enough money doing it to live on, but that remains to be seen.  We’ll keep our fingers crossed, shall we?

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s back to the animal farm I go, where I’m sure there’s a half dozen more emails in this thread waiting for me to read.

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