The Online Market of Death – Zenni Optical

I hate buying new glasses.  I’ve been essentially as blind as a bat since sometime in third grade when, in the space of a few months, I want from hiding out in the back of the classroom to sitting in the front row and STILL could not read the damned chalkboard.  My teacher finally saw me squinting and suggested my parents have my eyes checked, and it was coke bottle bottoms from then on, baby.  I was styling during grade school and high school, let me tell you.

As I got older and my eyes worsened, my prescription got more and more expensive.  When you’re correcting vision as bad as mine, you need thinking glass with a bigger adjustment, and so I paid through the nose.  Oh, and to the insurance companies which pay for your frames?  Fuck you, that’s like almost nothing compared with lenses and you know it, you pustulent piles of putrescent pig puke.  But I digress…

Now that we can take our prescriptions home with us, I turned to online ordering.  I’ve tried a variety of sites, but kept coming back to Zenni Optical for the low, low, ridiculously low prices and relatively OK glasses.  They’ve even got thinner lenses now, so that’s cool.  And, needing new glasses recently (my old ones were too scratched up and, as it turns out, my prescription had worsened again), I turned back to them to place the order.

It’s been two weeks.  My glasses officially shipped last Saturday.  For the past seven days they’ve been sitting in a warehouse in Shanghai, China, with the UPS designation Held in Warehouse, and further information that states “Your package will be held at a warehouse until it is released by the clearance agency.”  Basically my glasses are in some shipping container that they won’t load for one reason or another, along with a bunch of other goods.

Had I known the manufacturer of Zenni optics was in China, I would have skipped them.  I don’t give a flying rat’s ass where my stuff comes from, but I damn well need that prescription and I even paid extra for rush shipping.  So much for that money, I might as well have not bothered.  In the meantime, I should order elsewhere but I suspect with my luck that I’ll do so and my glasses from Zenni will be immediately released.

Don’t buy from Zenni.  You’re buying from China and your shit will get stuck in customs forever.  Try Global Eyewear or Eye Buy Direct.  You might pay more, but you’ll actually be assured of getting your stuff (plus their selections are actually better, I’m just a cheap bastard… I’d rather buy three pairs for $150 than one pair).

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